You’ve probably heard the adage “communication is the key to any relationship” before. Although it sounds cliche, it is true. It’s not as simple to explain how to communicate as it is to tell people that it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. We won’t be able to unlock the door of effective communication if we are never taught how to use this key.

There are many ways to define communication, but my favorite is “the successful conveying or exchanging of ideas and sentiments.” I usually claim I’m a great talker, but to be a great communicator, I must also be a great listener. Healthy self-expression, listening to your partner when they do the same, and truly hearing and taking in what the other person says are all important components of communication.

ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Talking about each other’s days and letting each other know what you had for lunch are not the only ways to communicate. It’s important to delve deep and learn as much as possible about this person. Digging deep is not always simple, especially for individuals who have never felt comfortable discussing their thoughts. Additionally, not every talk needs to be heart-to-heart.

TAKE NONVERBAL CUES

If your partner responds, “My day was fine,” but their demeanor comes off as annoyed, unhappy, or furious, there may be another emotion that they are experiencing but are not yet ready to express. Speaking words is only one aspect of communication; another is how we say them. More than just the things we say, our tone and attitude can reveal a lot about us. And the ability to recognize those nonverbal signs is also a skill. Examine your significant other’s body language, including their eye contact and shaking or fidgety hands, as well as their facial expressions and hands. Check their posture (are their arms crossed?) and pay attention to their voice.

DON’T READ THEIR MIND

Sometimes you can tell someone’s feelings just by glancing at them. As much as we might want to be mind readers, we aren’t and shouldn’t have to be. Therefore it’s not always simple to do this. Ask your partner if you’re unsure about how they’re feeling. Take a minute to be grateful that your spouse is trying by asking you what’s going on rather than just dismissing the issue if you’re the one keeping things within and expecting them to read your mind. When you’re prepared to share your feelings with them, try your best to do so. Saying you’re fine when you’re not, then getting angry, is not a healthy practice. To the best of your abilities, be honest about how you feel, and make an effort to communicate it in a healthy way before things escalate to the point where someone says something they later regret. Direct communication is always preferable to passive aggression.

COMMUNICATION IS A SKILL SET

Since communication is ultimately a talent, there is always room for development. Find out how you can keep up good communication and remain on the same page by working with your partner. Be as straightforward, frank, considerate, and honest as you can, whether through a Bae Sesh or by trying harder to be more honest with one another.